I got a call late Friday night from my cousin. She lives where my old 1965 Ford Fairlane is parked.
She said that the garage was collapsing and that I should get the car out pretty quickly before it all came crashing down.
So Saturday morning, I loaded up the air compressor (I knew the tires had gone flat, it doesn't run, so I'd be pushing it out) and got in the car. My
family, strangely enough, wanted to go.
It's a good thing, too, because my son was able to steer the car while I moved the old Fairlane to the carport.
Then we all went
to a little kids amusement park near Lake Merritt in downtown Oakland. There was an author gathering of kids books that we wanted to see. The kids had one of their favorite books signed by its author.
So far, so good. THEN the real calamities began.
We decided to stop in Castro Valley for some dinner and ice cream. We walk in. My wife is carrying our littlest one.
Finn proceeds to vociferously vomit. All over himself and his mother. Luckily (if you can say that), nothing hit the
floor.
We go back out to the car, clean up, put the kids back in. But now that they were mentally prepared to eat (even though it was a little earlier than normal for dinner), they were hungry.
So we try to find something on the Boulevard. My wife suggests a burrito shop. I say (and these may be famous last words), "I don't like eating Mexican food at places I've never eaten at before."
I should have trusted my gut (pun intended).
I go in with my three older kids. My wife stays in the car with the little one. Or so I thought.
Next thing I see is water pouring past the burrito shop. I'm talking a
river.
I don't think MUCH about it because I have 3 kids to attend to and an order to place.
Next look, because I'm curious, and I see my wife motioning me
outside. She says, "I did it!"
For some reason, she decided to move the car and backed over a fire hydrant.
Hey, just like in the movies! Those things don't take much
force to knock over, by the way. I think that's by design.
Anyway, CHP and the fire department show up. They get it turned off in mere minutes. Something tells me they've done this before.
At this exact spot. It's in a really crummy place and I bet this has happened way more times than ONCE.
My wife is doing okay with this. She's embarrassed. I get it. But I'm chillin'. After my a-fib adventure a few years ago, I'm much calmer now. I don't get upset over
anything.
Did I see massive amounts of dollar bills rolling out of my bank account? Yes. Yes, I did. But I'm not upset. Being upset won't help the situation. It will only make it worse.
So I'm chill.
Queue silly segue: Later that night, as I just went horizontal, my heart started going nuts.
Yes, another bout with a-fib
(it's when the two upper chambers of the heart get out of sync with the two lower chambers).
It causes instant fatigue (your body isn't getting what it needs in terms of oxygen), but the worst part is the fear of the unknown.
One of the biggest effects of a-fib is blood clotting. The blood tends to pool in the upper chambers, clots, and then your otherwise healthy heart sends the clot to your head and you have a stroke.
I won't lie: That worries the @#$@% out of me.
But I know odds are really good this won't happen suddenly. It takes a fair amount of time for this clotting to occur.
Or so I'm told ;) And I've read this, too, and consulted with my
cardiologist about it.
So I really don't need to worry. Just call the doc Monday morning and take the next step...
But wait - there's
more.
I had a business meeting Sunday afternoon. So I was gone when the next calamity happened.
My littlest stuck a green bean up his nose. Yep. I got through
the first 3 kids without any of them doing that.
But Finn just had to do better. He's the high achiever, I guess.
My wife couldn't get it out. So she went to the
ER.
She said it took longer to drive there than the whole episode of checking in, waiting, and then getting medical attention.
In short, they were in and out of the ER
in less than 10 minutes.
Which is a miracle, if you ask me.
More dollar signs though... 
